I think it was Jackie Mason (the Jewish comic from the borscht belt) who quipped that “Jews are just like everyone else, only moreso.” When I went to my first bi social event I was understandably nervous but at the end of it concluded “Bi people are just like everyone else, only moreso for me.” That is, identifying as one, I felt understood at a deep level and that i understood them. Have been reading some Ovid lately (sometimes in bed upon awaking, which makes me think of how Rene Descartes got a dispensation to study in bed from the authorities at the university, because he was afraid of the cold Swedish winters, which proved to be well founded as he did eventually catch a cold and die, but I digress) and there are some wonderful stories in which a person is changed into an animal form (for example a cow or a horse) but retains human feelings but is not able to communicate with people, their words come out as a low or whinny. It is all quite poignant and powerful writing in the Metamorphoses.
When I came out I told some people that I was still the same person only better, improved. What if I came out to myself but nobody else knew I was bi? If i could not communicate who-what I am as in the characters of Ovid’s tale. How dreadful! What was so great about the good old days anyways in this regards? My birth into this new-different-same-better existence was pretty much co-terminus with telling other people. For me, I HAD to tell people to make it real, concrete, and not some mind-game I was playing inside my brain.
Above the story of Echo and Narcissus. I love that story as told in Ovid. It is related that both sexes were attracted to Narcissus making him some kind of potential bi hero. But he truly overdid it on the feeling good about yourself scale. In a way my old self, pre coming out era was akin to Echo, in that I reacted to people, events, situations instead of being more my own personal agent as it were. And you can see how well that served her, very poorly! Maybe my enemies might want to title my biography: From Echo to Narcissus in one lifetime but personally I am very far from being an egomaniac in love with my own reflection. A truly sublime merengue-hustle group class tonight at the dance studio with my instructor. I keep pondering the body, eros, sensuality and non verbal communication in terms of sex and the act of dancing. How are they the same, different, what overlap is there? Used to joke with chums about golf vs sex, what would you rather do. We were like 19 th c. golf mad barristers in the city of London (England), passionate about the links game. Tonight learned the “sweetheart move/position’ in dance.
Below, watched Swan Lake from the Kirov on you tube and enjoyed it very much. Just under 2 hours. As a kid I saw this performed, goal now is to see it again as an adult.