What do women want?
What does Quebec want?
What do I want?
I was in a Greek restaurant in Paris in the spring of 1982 and someone said life is all about goals. One must set them. What the hell did I know at that tender young age?
I was in university, I was asking questions, I was questioning authority. Which seems like such a fabulist, fantastical notion given today’s emphasis on fast tracking your career from kindergarten on. I had a sibling who was forever saying she was not old enough to read Kafka (because I was reading the Castle, which I loved) in high school. I had the opposite issue going on, of reading Plato etc. in university and opening up the proverbial can of worms, a Pandora’s box (before Pandora became an internet music sensation and no longer an ancient Greek myth). Once the existentialist tube of toothpaste was squeezed out, I could never pretend to look at life the same way again. Once I came out, I was changed permanently.
Personally I think this is the way to go, a life well lived but then again, I have had lots of moments over the decades of trying to fit the square peg of my being into the round whole of society. It never worked! A quadrillion iterations later I can fully attest to that.
I am like Don Vito Corleone in the garden (Marlon Brando) of the Godfather film, talking to his son Michael (Al Pacino) saying that he has lived his life and has no regrets because he refused to be a fool, to be a puppet on a string, held by the big shots of the world (the colourful Italian word pezzonovante is used, which translated means a 90 caliber, that being a very large gun).
I do not try to dance better than anyone else, I only try to dance better than myself. -Mikhail Barysnikov.
I got my dancing shoes on and am ready for life. Bring it on. I can handle anything that comes up because I fought the hardest battle already, which was against myself.
Saw that quote (in red above) and loved it. That is me. That captures what I aspire to do, to be. Not just in dancing but in all of life’s realms, spheres, dimensions.
The image and words below made me smile when I saw it because it is so rich in allusion. I mean, dancing has captivated and captured me on such a large scale, yet the learning of it is broken down into the tiniest segments. I started off the blog post with the biggest questions (at the top). The answer my friend might very well be broken down into the smallest parts of one’s life, that added up, cumulatively bring forth the answer. It is fairly rare one gets the chance to run into a burning house to save someone or rescue a pet. Life does provide an almost infinite number of interactions when you can choose to do the right thing or be a selfish prick about it.
Why why WHY must life be played out on the zero sum game axis so much? It is so juvenile, worthy of the sandbox when Johnny cries to mommy that someone else’s sand castle is bigger than his. Waah. Stupid possessions that are as fleeting as a beautiful white puffy cumulus cloud floating by in the beautiful blue sky, that is enjoyable to look at for perhaps 5 seconds. And just about that real when you think about it. Idiotic status symbols that separate us from ourselves, and one another. Read once that life should be lived as if you are at the beach, going into the ocean to get a pail of water. More than enough to go around for everyone. That which matters truly is not finite but infinite. There is a great inexhaustible well to draw upon and from for the that which is important.