What I learned last month is that in Japan they are very keen on Beethoven’s 9th symphony, (with the 4th movement Ode to Joy in particular). I have no idea why though. In terms of the how, the influence of German soldiers stationed there during WWII had something to do with it. It is certainly worthy of love, adoration and have enjoyed playing it on the piano. What I have been pondering these many nights and days is the relationship as you know between sex and dancing, between love and joy. The amount of love I receive (sexual and otherwise) is pretty much out of my control but the amount of joy and love I have in my heart, and share with others is my own business. Have kvetched endlessly for days (or is it decades?) over the amount of shtupping that has come my way on earth but I do not believe I’ve been shortchanged at all in receiving love from family and friends. Not a whit. NO doubt my accusers will state I have not traipsed through a half century on earth quite joyful enough. No way. Not by a long shot have I moseyed in this our life’s journey with sufficient joy to the world. I stand convicted in the docket. Hell, I accuse myself! J’accuse! I am now trying to redress that wrong, that imbalance. Too late? Maybe.
Perhaps at my graveside in 47 years mourners will say that a la the reborn Ebenezer Scrooge he knew how to keep the feast. This will be the case if they have met me once I came out as bi. And especially my dance friends would not know me in any other capacity except this enthusiastic hail well met fellow. Once my beautiful bi sisters and brothers were telling me how positive I am and I had to look around to see who they were talking about. My dance teachers love my attitude, perspective and energy that I bring to the dance studio. It is very easy to be so upbeat around them as I am having so much fun learning different Latin and ballroom dances. I am always going to think of the relationship between coming out as bi and taking up dancing in the new year. Absolutely one has lead to the other, because one gave me courage, that I needed to tackle the terror of the dance floor. I was not afraid to think of myself as bi, it was just not on my radar, not in my way of looking out onto the world. Thus, insofar as this great a-vocation has brought me so much joy (and not even four weeks into it) I have to thank my sexuality. How odd but true!
If I had to pick one word as a tattoo on my body that resonates with me vis a vis being bi, it would be the opening word of Homer’s Iliad. Menin in Greek means “Rage“. As in the rage of Achilles. which is one of the main themes of that great epic poem which I love so much and have read in so many translations in the last year. My levels of that feeling and emotion have decreased 95% since I came out. For dance, the tattoo I would choose is the treble cleft-musical note (above) to illustrate. Remember as a kid for piano lessons having to draw that symbol and how I enjoyed it. 4 decades later I am back to where I started in some ways. How curious! My daily pentathlon for the soul is this: blogging, reading, running, dancing and playing the piano. Two dear people have said to me, first coming out, now dancing, I cannot wait to see what is going to happen next. Stay tuned!