Blogging Bi Day, Dance by Night

All things Bi, Dance and random musings for our edification

Maria Bello

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It certainly behooves me to pen something about Maria Bello and her article in the NYT on Sunday Dec. 1, 2013  announcing her new modern love-family as it were.
That she is in a relationship with a woman (Clare) has a son (Jackson, who spurred on her revelations by his questioning) and  still has a nonsexual partnership  with Jackson’s father.
As sure as the sun rises,  the mainstream media rushed breathlessly,  “Maria Bello comes out as gay” even though she did not use that word, concept at all. Neither did she announce that she is bi. Alas.  My favourite part of her piece was the sentence that she always felt her sense of attachment-partnership was “fluid and evolving”.  In antiquity this was not a problem.  People often died by the time they were 30. There was no time to evolve, as we understand the concept today vis a vis relationships, one’s sexuality, monogamy etc. Today, one could very easily have a half century or more of being a sexual being and if we have learned anything from Kinsey it is that one’s sexuality is fluid and evolving.   How much we choose to acknowledge, accept that is quite another matter.
Back to Ms. Bello. Bravissima  to her, for the final words in the article, “Maybe, in the end, a modern family is just a more honest family.” Well said!
Maybe we are one step closer to banishing the 1950s suburban idea of the ideal family, that never was anyways. The 2.1 kids, chicken in every pot, white picket fence, car in every driveway, sex 1.2  nights a week and a whole panoply of artifacts. All the while below the surface a phalanx of repression, sexual and otherwise going on.
Readers, I give you Peyton Place (the book and excellent movie) to show what was going on behind the  pleasant facade as one example among many.
Am sure the extreme conservative Christian sorts thought “Aha! another example of the world going to rack and ruin! Heterosexual monogamy under full assault by Hollywood!”
O please. Bob Dylan sang the times-they-are-a-changing in 1963 and they have not stopped changing. And they will not stop changing. The sexual genie is out of the bottle and an army of evangelical, fundamentalist preachers is not going to put it back. any more than King Canute was going to roll back the tide in mediaeval Denmark.  Ask most teens about LGBT issues today and you get  mainly a yawn.
 Just like Maria Bello’s father (of Italian-American heritage,  who I expect is in his 70s, if she is 46) when she came out to him, in between puffs on his cigar.
According to the piece he was super cool with it, “She’s a good girl, good  for you.”  Being of Italian-Canadian descent, who had an uncle who smoked  cigars,  (who had a big bushy mustache that pinched when as a kid I had to kiss him on the cheeks)  I can picture the scene in my imagination.
Hurrah for wisdom, tolerance, understanding.  In my own coming  out adventure, one of my favourite reactions is still from a man of similar age,  who quipped “Oh, ok, no big deal.”  That’s the kind of world I want to live in.  What body parts are going where,  are nobody’s business.  Pierre Trudeau said the state has no business in the nation’s bedrooms in the late 1960s as Justice Minister (updating, de-criminalizing many laws concerning sexual acts) in Canada.  Am always floored by how many states in the USA, as late as 1967 had laws against miscegenation. Amazing.
Well, couldn’t resist adding a second photo of this beautiful and talented  American actress.  And now a brave heroine, role model also in my books.  Check her out in “A history of violence” and “The cooler”.  Arriverderci la mia bella bello! xo  🙂
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